Does the child constantly complain, exaggerate his problems or provoke conflicts? In this article, we will look at the reasons for this behavior and give some effective tips.
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Why do people like to “suffer”
No.1. Expressing emotions
For some people, suffering is a way to express emotions and free themselves from them.
#2. Social influence
Sometimes a culture or environment can encourage dramatic expression of emotions. This often affects people's behavior.
#3. Low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem may feel more comfortable being victims, as this confirms their inner beliefs about their own insignificance.
#4. The need for empathy
Suffering is a way of gaining empathy from others, which helps a person feel less alone in their experiences.
#5. Manipulation
If people see that suffering leads to attention or other benefits, they can start using this behavior for their own purposes.
What to do if the child likes to “get hurt”
If a child is prone to dramatization, it is important to approach this situation with understanding. Here are a few steps that might help:
Step 1: find out the reasons for the child's “suffering”
Try to understand what exactly causes negative feelings. The child may be stressed or having problems at school. In addition, he may imitate the behavior of someone in his environment.
Some children use “suffering” as a way to control those around them and the situation. If they understand that they can manipulate their parents into guilt, they will continue to do so.
Step 2: Develop a behavioral strategy
#1. I'm always there
Show your child that you love and accept him despite his behavior. Create a safe and supportive environment where he can express his feelings freely.
#2. Analysis
Before responding to a child's behavior, it is important to analyze the context of the situation. When exactly does “drama” start? Are there specific triggers or circumstances that precede this behavior? Record these situations to identify patterns. For example, a child may “suffer” at bedtime, while doing homework, or in front of certain people. Understanding the context will help you identify hidden needs or problems.
#3. Borders
It is necessary to explain to the child that this behavior is unacceptable and what consequences it can cause.
#4. Supporting “healthy” behavior
Focus on the child's positive behavior, praise him for his achievements and good deeds. This will help improve his self-esteem and reduce the need for negative attention.
#5. Cooperative games and activities
Spend more time with your child. This will strengthen your bond and create a more trusting relationship. You can work on developing his self-regulation skills in a playful way.
#6. Emotional intelligence
Perhaps the child is unable to verbally express feelings and uses provocative behavior as the only available method of communication. Teach your child to recognize and express emotions correctly. Writing a diary of emotions or discussing feelings through games and books will help.
#7. Positive thinking
Teach your child to find positive things in difficult situations and focus on solutions rather than problems.
#8. Professional help
If the child's behavior is disturbing or affects his daily life, it is best to see a psychologist.
It's important to remember
Patience and consistency are key elements in dealing with situations like this. You should not scold or punish the child; it is better to focus on understanding his needs and supporting him.
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