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The “polar bear” paradox and how to help your child cope with unwanted thoughts

The “polar bear” paradox

The “polar bear” paradox is an interesting psychological phenomenon that demonstrates the complexity of our brain. When we try to suppress certain thoughts, they become even more intrusive in spite of our efforts.

In this article, we'll talk more about the “polar bear” effect and give tips on how to help your child cope with anxious thoughts that interfere with learning. And if your children are excited about IT technologies, we are looking forward to seeing them at Progkids!

What does the white bear have to do with it?

The “polar bear” effect was first described by the American psychologist Daniel Wegner. In 1987, he conducted an experiment in which participants were asked not to think about a polar bear.

The study showed that attempts to suppress the idea of a polar inhabitant led to its increased manifestation in consciousness. Wegner's work was an important contribution to the study of cognitive processes.

If you're told not to think about a polar bear, you're likely to start imagining it. This is because a conscious effort to avoid a thought paradoxically makes it more persistent.

Thoughts affect the mood and well-being of both children and adults, but due to age and lack of experience, children may have more difficulty controlling them. It is especially difficult for children not to think about something, even if it makes them anxious or afraid.

Where is the “dog buried” here, or why the “polar bear” paradox works

Attention control

When we try not to think about something in particular, part of our mind is constantly checking whether we are thinking about it by accident. This leads to the fact that thought becomes more active.

Emotional response

When we try not to think about something, it's often due to emotions. Our feelings connect with certain thoughts and memories, making them repeat themselves. If a thought evokes intense emotions—whether it's fear, anxiety, or joy—it's more likely to regain consciousness. This is because emotional experiences activate specific areas of the brain that are responsible for attention and memory.

Cognitive load

Attempts to suppress thoughts require significant cognitive resources. When these resources are depleted (for example, due to stress or fatigue), an repressed thought can surface.

What to do about it

To overcome the “polar bear” paradox, it is recommended to use mindfulness and acceptance techniques that allow you to observe your thoughts without trying to control them.

How to help your child overcome the “polar bear” paradox

Here are a few simple ways:

#1 Realize

Explain to your child that it is normal for thoughts to come and go. Emphasize that trying to suppress thoughts often backfires.

#2 Watch

Teach your child mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation. This will help him observe his thoughts without judgment or pressure.

#3 Act

Instead of struggling with thoughts, encourage your child to focus on activities or activities that are fun and distract from obsessive thoughts.

#4 Talk

Talk to your child about their experiences and help them put their feelings into words. This can reduce anxiety and improve understanding of your own emotions.

#5 Create

Encourage your child to express their thoughts and feelings through art, music, or writing. This can be a safe way to get rid of obsessive thoughts.

#6 Let go

Explain to your child that not all thoughts require action or decisions. Sometimes it's enough just to acknowledge their existence.

#7 Find a solution

If your child is very anxious about the polar bear paradox, consult a psychologist for advice.

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