From early childhood, girls are often raised according to certain gender stereotypes, forming the image of a “good” girl. She must be obedient, humble, compliant, caring, always ready to help others and put her interests last. This image, which seems positive, can actually become a cell that limits the girl's capabilities, prevents her self-realization and contributes to the development of complexes and self-doubt. In this article, we'll talk about why “good” girls are often unhappy.
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Who do “good” girls become
Raising “good” girls often results in them growing up to be women who are afraid to express their opinions, assert their rights, show negative feelings (anger or resentment), put their needs first, and take risks. Instead, they please others, seek approval, and avoid conflict. All this makes them vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation.
How to avoid this: identifying restrictive stereotypes
The image of a “good” girl is made up of a set of stereotypes and public expectations. Among them are:
Obedience
A “good” girl must follow all the instructions of adults and not contradict them.
Humility
A “good” girl should be modest, not flaunt her achievements or attract too much attention.
Compliancy
A “good” girl should be compliant, agree with others' opinions and avoid conflicts.
Caring
A “good” girl should be caring, helping others and putting their needs first.
Tidiness
A “good” girl should be tidy, look good and take care of herself.
Peacefulness
A “good” girl should be peaceful, avoid aggression and maintain harmony in relationships.
Seemingly harmless, these stereotypes can actually be very restrictive for a girl, preventing her from expressing her individuality, expressing her emotions and standing up for her rights.
The negative consequences of raising “good” girls
Low self-esteem
The constant need to please others and meet others' expectations can lead to low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. The girl begins to depend on the opinions of others and does not believe in herself.
Difficulty expressing emotions
“Good” girls often suppress their negative emotions, such as anger, anger, and irritation. This can lead to internal tension, depression, and psychosomatic illnesses.
Difficulties in setting boundaries
“Good” girls often don't know how to set boundaries and say no. They are afraid of offending others and settle for things they don't like.
Relationship problems
“Good” girls often attract partners who tend to dominate and control. They are used to pleasing others and putting their needs last, which makes them easy prey for manipulators.
Dissatisfaction with life
“Good” girls often do not live their own lives, but the life that others have imposed on them. They don't realize their potential, they don't follow their dreams, and they end up feeling unhappy.
Instead of a “good” girl: we form a confident and independent personality
How can you help a girl grow up confident and able to stand up for her rights and build a life filled with meaning and joy? Here are some simple tips for parents:
Autonomy and independence
Let the girl make decisions, make choices, and take responsibility for her actions. Support her interests and hobbies, even if they don't correspond to traditional gender stereotypes.
Emotions and feelings
Help her understand and express her emotions (both positive and negative). Explain that it is normal to feel angry, angry, and irritated. Teach her how to express her emotions constructively.
Learn to set boundaries
Help the girl set boundaries and say no when necessary. Explain that she has a right to her own feelings, needs, and opinions, and that she doesn't have to please others at her own expense.
Develop her self-confidence
Praise the girl for her achievements and efforts, support her in her failures and help her discover her strength. Encourage her to participate in activities where she can showcase her talents and abilities.
Break down gender stereotypes
Tell the girl about strong and independent women who have been successful in various fields. Keep her interested in science, IT and math, as well as sports.
Support her right to choose
Let the girl choose what she likes, how to dress, who to be friends with and what to do. Don't impose your ideas on her about what a “real woman” should be like.
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