Betrayal is a painful experience that leaves a deep impression on a person's soul, especially during childhood and adolescence. When a child loses trust in a loved one, it can undermine their faith in people, destroy their sense of security, and leave deep scars in their soul. In this article, we'll show you how to help your child cope with betrayal and learn to trust again while remaining open and sincere.
Why do people betray
Personal benefit
The desire for material gain, promotion, power, or other advantages force people to betray others.
Selfishness
The predominance of one's own interests over the interests of others, the inability to empathize and empathize often lead to betrayal.
Fear
Fear for their safety, reputation, or future sometimes makes people act against others.
Lack of self-confidence
Low self-esteem and the need to prove their worth sometimes lead people to betray.
Lack of moral principles
A lack of values often allows people to transgress norms and rules.
Jealousy
Feeling jealous of someone else's success, well-being or talent sometimes encourages people to do despicable things.
Revenge
The desire to avenge past grievances, real or fictional, can lead to betrayal.
The influence of the environment
The influence of people who lack moral principles can lead to betrayal.
Weakness of character
Failure to resist pressure, temptation, or temptation can lead to a violation of obligations and moral principles.
Dissatisfaction with relationships
Dissatisfaction with current relationships sometimes encourages us to search for new ones (even at the cost of betraying old ones).
What is betrayal for a child
This is a violation of his trust in a person he considered close and reliable. This kind of betrayal includes:
Betraying friends
Spreading others' secrets, defaming, expelling from the group, ignoring, gossip, etc.
Betrayal of a loved one
Cheating, breaking up relationships, etc.
Betrayal by a family member
Failure to keep promises, deceit, dishonesty, ignoring the child's needs, etc.
How to help your child survive a betrayal: 10 steps
Listen to the child
Let your child talk about their feelings and experiences without interrupting them. Show empathy and understanding. Let him know you're there for him and you're always ready to support him.
Show that you understand the child's feelings
Tell him that his feelings are normal and that he has a right to be angry, sad, and disappointed. Do not devalue his feelings and avoid phrases like “it will all pass” and “don't be so upset.”
Help your child understand what happened
Talk to him about betrayal and how it manifests itself. Help your child understand the traitor's motives, but don't justify his actions.
Work with wine
Make sure your child doesn't blame himself for what happened. Explain to him that he is not responsible for another person's actions.
Help your child get out of emotions
Offer him different ways of expressing feelings: drawing, writing, music, sports. Let your child cry, scream, or hit the pillow if it helps him.
Support your child in everything
Let the child decide for himself what he wants to do with the traitor: forgive him, end the relationship, or limit communication. Support him in whatever decision he makes.
Help your child set boundaries
Teach your child to set healthy boundaries in relationships with others. Explain to him that he has the right to say no in various situations.
Help your child regain confidence in the world
Explain that not everyone is the same and that there are people in the world you can trust anyway. Show him examples of honest and reliable relationships. Support him in establishing new relationships of trust.
Develop your child's self-esteem
Praise the child, emphasizing his strengths and talents. Help him believe in himself and his abilities.
Seek professional help
If your child has emotional problems that you can't figure out on your own, seek help from a psychologist.
How to teach your child to trust again
Be patient
Take your child's time and give him time to get through the pain and learn to trust again.
Be reliable
Be honest, open and consistent in your actions.
Create a safe space
Make sure your child feels safe and can talk openly about how they feel.
Show examples of trust
Talk about your own relationships with people you trust.
Remind me of good people
Emphasize that there are many kind and reliable people in the world.
Encourage getting out of your comfort zone
Help your child gradually open up to new people and relationships.
When dealing with betrayal, remember that your love, support, and understanding are what your child needs most! And if you want him to be distracted by something useful, write it down to free trial lesson at Progkids!
