We all want to be happy, dreaming of a great job, a perfect relationship, a beautiful home, and lots of other things that we think will make us happy. But what if certain ideas about “how it should be” are actually the main obstacle to joy? In this article, we'll talk about the “limits of desire” — the invisible limits by which we deprive ourselves of life satisfaction.
Does your child spend a lot of time on the computer? At Progkids, we know how to teach him useful leisure time in front of the screen.
What is a “desire framework”?
The “Desire Framework” is the sum of our ideas, expectations, and beliefs about what we need to be happy. These are pre-formed images of an “ideal life” that we constantly compare with reality, often not in favor of the latter. This framework may include:
Material values
For example: “I will be happy when I buy a new car”, “I will be happy with life when I have my own house”.
Social status
For example: “I will be respected when I become a boss”, “I will be successful when I earn a million”.
Appearance
For example: “I'll be beautiful when I lose weight”, “I'll be attractive when I build muscle.”
Relationships
For example: “I will be happy when I meet my soul mate”, “I will be happy with my marriage when we have children”.
Career
For example: “I will be satisfied with my job when I get promoted”, “I will do what I love when I find a “dream job”.
Why does it get in the way
The problem is that when we focus on these thoughts, we lose sight of all the good things we already have and we constantly feel dissatisfied. We become hostages to our expectations, forgetting that happiness is not the end goal but a process that can be experienced every day, regardless of the circumstances.
Why can't we live happily ever after
The “Desire Framework” has a negative impact on our lives for several reasons:
Constant comparison
We compare our lives to an “ideal” image that we created ourselves. This leads to dissatisfaction and disappointment.
Dependence on external factors
We make happiness dependent on external factors that we can't always control. If things don't go according to plan, we feel unhappy.
The loss of joy in the present moment
By focusing on the future and striving for the “ideal”, we miss the opportunity to enjoy the present moment and appreciate what we have.
Constant dissatisfaction
Even when we achieve what we want, we quickly get used to it and start striving for something more. This creates a cycle of a never-ending race for happiness in which we never feel truly satisfied.
Distortion of reality
The “desire framework” can distort our perception of reality. We start to see only what we expect and ignore everything else. This can lead to wrong decisions and poor relationships with others.
How to break free from the “framework of desire” and live happily today?
Freeing from the “framework of desire” is a process that requires awareness and self-improvement. Here are a few steps that might help you:
Understand your “desire limits”
Think about what you think is necessary for your happiness. Write down your expectations and analyze them.
Critically evaluate your own expectations
Ask yourself this question: are all these things really that important to my happiness? Can I be happy without them?
Shift your focus
Try not to focus on what you don't have and start appreciating what you don't have. Focus on the positive aspects of your own life.
Practice gratitude
Take time every day to thank the Universe for all the good things you have. This will help you see life in a more positive light.
Live in the moment
Learn to enjoy the present moment without worrying about the future or regretting the past. Practice mindfulness and meditation.
Be flexible
Remember that life doesn't always go according to plan. Be ready for changes and don't be afraid to deviate from plan.
Accept yourself and others as they are
Don't try to change yourself or others according to your “desire framework”. Value each person's uniqueness and accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is a direct path to dissatisfaction. Focus on your own development and don't look at how others live.
Set realistic goals
Don't set your expectations too high and set goals that are actually achievable.
Seek happiness within yourself
Remember that happiness is an internal state. Develop positive qualities like love, compassion, gratitude, and generosity.
”The framework of desire” and the child: 10 tips to raise a happy person
Childhood is a time of endless dreams. However, at a young age, a child may face the “limits of desire” imposed by society or even by themselves. It is important to help him grow in harmony with himself and his own needs and desires. Here are 10 tips on how to do that:
Listen and respect his wishes
Let your child talk freely about their wishes, even if they seem unrealistic to you. Do not devalue his dreams, but try to understand what exactly he wants to get out of life. Respect his choice, even if it doesn't match yours.
Don't impose your dreams and expectations
Remember that a child is an individual with interests and needs. Don't try to realize your own unfulfilled dreams through it. Let him choose his own path in life.
Teach him to set realistic goals
Help your child break down big desires into smaller, more achievable goals. Teach him to plan actions, moving towards the goal step by step. Support him along the way and praise him for every victory.
Let him make mistakes
Mistakes are an integral part of learning and development. Teach your child to learn from them. Support him when he fails and tell him that the most important thing is not to give up.
Develop his self-esteem
Praise the child for his achievements and efforts. Highlight his strengths and talents. Help him believe in himself and his own strength.
Teach him gratitude
Encourage your child to express gratitude for all the good things they have. Show him an example of being grateful for life. This will help him appreciate what he has and not focus on what he is missing.
Help him develop his talents and interests
Support your child in his hobbies and hobbies. Give him opportunities to develop talent. Sign him up for clubs and sections that interest him.
Teach him to be himself
Encourage your child to be unique and not afraid to be different. Support him when he expresses his own personality. Help him accept himself with all his strengths and weaknesses.
Teach him to take care of himself
Teach your child proper nutrition, physical activity, and healthy sleep. Let him not be afraid to express his emotions. Help your son or daughter create habits that support their health and well-being.
Love him unconditionally
Love your child not for his achievements, but simply for what he is. Show him your love and support every day. Make sure he feels accepted and loved no matter what.
By following these tips, you can help your child grow in harmony with himself, his wants and needs. And if he wants to develop in the IT field, sign him up at free trial lesson to Progkids online school!
