Envy is a difficult and unpleasant feeling that everyone is familiar with. It can come in different forms: from mild annoyance to intense anger and resentment. It's important to understand that envy is a normal emotion, but if left unchecked, it can have a negative impact on a child's self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being. In this article, we will take a closer look at how to make sure that envy does not poison a child's life, but helps him develop.
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What is envy and why does it occur
Envy is a feeling of annoyance, resentment, or dissatisfaction that a person feels at the sight of someone else's success, talent, property, or other advantages that they do not possess. Unlike admiration, which inspires us to achieve our own goals, envy causes negative feelings and can lead to unfriendly actions.
Envy comes from a variety of reasons. Among them are:
Low self-esteem
A child who is insecure in himself and his abilities is often jealous of others' success.
Comparing yourself to others
A child who constantly compares himself to more successful peers begins to feel inferior and envious of them.
A sense of injustice
A child can be jealous if they think someone has received an undeserved reward or advantage.
Unmet needs
Envy occurs when a child feels that their needs are not being met (for example, they face a lack of attention, love, and acceptance).
Competition
In families where competition between children is encouraged, envy can be common.
What does envy lead to
If you do not help your child cope with the “green monster”, envy can lead to negative consequences. Among them are:
Decreased self-esteem
The child may start to feel inadequate. His self-doubt is going to grow.
Deterioration of relations with others
A child may become withdrawn, irritable, and unfriendly to others.
Feeling guilty and ashamed
Envy can lead to feelings of guilt and shame.
Aggressive behavior
In some cases, envy causes aggression.
Depression and anxiety
Envy can be one of the factors that contribute to depression and anxiety disorders.
How to help your child cope with envy: simple tips for parents
“Normalize” feelings of envy
Tell your child that envy is a “healthy” emotion that all people experience. Don't scold or judge him for being jealous. Let him know that you understand and are ready to help him.
Understand the causes of envy
Talk to your child about what makes them jealous. Help him understand what needs are not being met and what fears underlie his envious feelings.
Develop the child's self-esteem
Praise him for his achievements and just his efforts. Highlight his strengths and talents. Help him believe in himself and his own abilities.
Compare yourself only to yourself
Explain that each person is unique and has their own path of development. Help your child focus on their own achievements and progress rather than on others' successes.
Rejoice at others' victories
Explain to your child that other people's success does not mean their own failure. Help him find reasons to be happy for others. Teach him to congratulate others if they are successful.
Set realistic goals
Help your child identify their goals and break them down into smaller, more achievable steps. Support him on his way to success. Praise him for every little win.
Teaching a child to be thankful
Encourage your child to express gratitude for all the good things they have. Invite him to keep a diary where he can write down all the wonderful things that happened to him. Show your child an example of being grateful for life.
Find alternative activities
Help your child find hobbies and hobbies that will bring them joy and satisfaction. Engage him in sports and creativity. Let him socialize more, walk and travel more. This will help him distract himself from envious thoughts.
Limit time spent on social media
Social media is often a source of envy, as it usually only shows the best aspects of life. Explain to your child that what they see on social media is not always true.
Seek professional help
If envy has a negative impact on a child's life and causes a serious emotional response, seek help from a psychologist.
By helping your child understand the causes of envy, you teach them to build a happier and more fulfilling life. Remember that your love, support and understanding are the most important contribution to children's well-being!
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