Adolescence is a time of great change and self-doubt. During this period, dissatisfaction with your appearance is very common. It is important to help your teenager cope with this without making things worse. In this article, we will give some simple tips on this topic.
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Why do we pay so much attention to appearance
Here are a few key factors.
Choosing a partner
A previously attractive appearance could signal health and fertility, which increased the chances of successful breeding. This has left its mark on our psychology, even if these signals are not always reliable in the modern world.
Social status
In some cultures, good looks are associated with wealth, success, and high social status. This may be due to access to resources that allow you to take care of your appearance.
Media
The media are constantly broadcasting idealized images of beauty, creating unrealistic standards and putting enormous pressure on people. This reinforces the importance of appearance in the public mind.
Cultural norms
Different cultures have different standards of beauty, but there is an emphasis on certain traits everywhere. These standards can be rigid and influence people's self-esteem and behavior.
Social comparison
People are constantly comparing themselves to others, especially on social media. Attempts to live up to ideals sometimes lead to feelings of inferiority and increased attention to appearance.
Fashion and beauty industry
The powerful beauty and fashion industry is constantly promoting new products and trends that emphasize and stimulate interest in appearance.
Self-esteem
For some people, appearance becomes an important component of self-esteem. If a person feels attractive, it can increase their self-confidence. On the contrary, not meeting beauty ideals can lead to low self-esteem and even depression.
First impression
Appearance often plays a significant role in shaping first impressions. People judge by appearance before getting to know each other better.
Compensation
In some cases, people may focus too much on appearance to compensate for other shortcomings or lack of self-confidence.
How to help a teenager who doesn't like his appearance
#1 Listen and be empathetic
Let the teenager speak out. Don't interrupt him or devalue his feelings. Forget the phrases: “You're fine as it is!” , “Don't worry, this will pass!” Try to understand what exactly is bothering the child. This may be a specific feature of appearance, a general feeling of inconsistency with ideals, comparison with others, etc.
Be empathetic
Show that you understand his feelings, even if you don't agree with them. Say something like, “I understand this is a hard time for you right now. I'm sorry you feel this way.”
Discuss beauty standards
Talk about how media and social media create unrealistic ideals. Help your teenager understand that beauty is a subjective concept and diversity is normal.
Highlight its strengths
Concentrate on the child's positive qualities that are not related to his appearance: intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, talents. Help your teenager see themselves as a whole person.
Pay attention to a healthy lifestyle
A healthy diet, physical activity and adequate sleep have a positive effect on appearance and self-esteem.
Developing hobbies and interests
Activities that are fun help distract from negative thoughts and improve self-esteem.
Sport and physical activity
Exercise not only improves shape, but also contributes to the production of endorphins and improves mood.
Creativity
Drawing, music, dancing are ways of self-expression that help teenagers better understand themselves and their feelings.
Professional help
If dissatisfaction with appearance becomes intrusive and prevents a teenager from living a normal life, consult a psychologist.
What NOT to do
Criticize a teenager's appearance
Even if you think you're giving “constructive criticism,” it can hurt his feelings a lot.
Compare a teenager to others
This will only increase his self-doubt.
Impose diets or fitness plans
This can lead to eating disorders.
Devaluate his feelings
A teenager will no longer trust you.
Remember that patience and support are key to success. Help your child accept himself as he is with all its strengths and weaknesses. Self-esteem is very fragile during adolescence, and your care and understanding can play a crucial role in developing a healthy self-esteem for your son or daughter in the future.
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