Teen room. There are posters with your favorite character on the wall, and a frame with the same character froze on the monitor.
The first reaction of parents: “But he doesn't exist!”.
However, in the digital age, where virtual characters sometimes seem more alive than real people, such feelings are a logical stage in growing up.
It seems like a good time to figure out why teenagers fall in love with fictional characters so often, and when such a hobby really needs attention.
And if your child loves computers, we look forward to seeing them in class at Progkids!
Why is this happening
In adolescence, emotions are bubbling and imagination works at full capacity. It's no wonder that some teens are beginning to have romantic feelings for fictional characters — characters in anime, video games, books, and movies.
Psychologists call these “fake romantic attachments,” and it's not always a cause for concern. However, if the hobby becomes obsessive and interferes with real life, parents should gently help the child return to reality.
Why teenagers fall in love with characters that don't exist
No.1. Escapism
Adolescence is full of stress: conflicts with parents, school pressure, first failures in relationships. Characters from their favorite universes become “perfect partners” — they never betray or criticize.
#2. Safe training for the senses
First love for a fictional character is a way to practice your emotions without the risk of rejection.
#3. The influence of pop culture
Modern media are creating hyper-romanticized characters that look perfect.
#4. Psychic features
For some teenagers (especially those who are imaginative or imaginative), the line between reality and fiction may temporarily blur.
#5. The shortage of ideals in real life
Modern teenagers are often disappointed in others: their peers seem superficial, adults seem hypocritical, and romantic relationships are actually too complicated. A fictional hero becomes the epitome of the unattainable.
#6. The need for control
In real relationships, everything is unpredictable: sympathy can be unrequited, and the partner can change or disappoint. At the same time, a character always “belongs” only to a teenager: his character, actions and even appearance can be imagined without any risk.
#7. Compensation for loneliness
If a teenager has few friends, or experiences bullying at school, falling in love with a character becomes a mental defense mechanism. This is how the brain “fills the void” to avoid feeling abandoned.
#8. Identity crisis
In adolescence, there is an active search for oneself, and sometimes a favorite character becomes a “second me”. For example, a shy girl falls in love with a charismatic rebel because she subconsciously wants to adopt his features.
#9. The impact of the digital environment
Social networks and streaming platforms hypertrophie certain characters, creating the effect of “universal love”. The teenager sees thousands of fans writing fan fiction and drawing art, and his feelings seem socially approved.
What parents should do
Here are some simple tips:
No.1. Don't laugh at the baby
Why this is important
If a teenager has trusted you with his feelings, this is a sign of trust and your intimacy with him.
What to do
Instead of saying, “Are you seriously in love with a cartoon?” , say: “Tell me what do you like about him/her?”.
#2. Understand the context
Why this is important
The character can symbolize the lack of something in real life (security, freedom, romance).
What to do
Ask, “If this character were real, how would you communicate? What would connect you?”
#3. Offer him a creative outlet
Why this is important
This helps transform emotions into development.
What to do
Encourage drawing, writing fan fiction, making music, or cosplaying.
#4. Gently expand your child's social circle
Why this is important
It helps to translate the ideal into reality.
What to do
Find themed clubs (anime, games, books) where your child can meet like-minded people.
#5. Discuss the difference between fiction and reality
Why this is important
Characters are idealized, but people are not.
What to do
For example, say, “A hero is always brave, and in real life even brave people are sometimes afraid. This is normal.”
#6. Don't ban hobbies
Why this is important
The ban will intensify the protest and cause even more escapism.
What to do
Agree on boundaries: “You can play/watch, but let's not forget about classes and meetings with friends.”
#7. Find “bridges” to the real world
Why this is important
It helps to see similar qualities in living people.
What to do
Ask, “Do you value kindness in this character? And who of your friends is also kind?”
#8. Suggest alternative ways to emotionally unload
Why this is important
Perhaps a child “heals” stress with fantasies.
What to do
Sports, hobbies, walks — all this will give him a lot of positive emotions.
#9. Watch out for alarms
Why this is important
Sometimes a child may begin to refuse real communication, say that he hates reality, believe that the character is real.
What to do
Consult a psychologist who specializes in adolescents.
#10. Remind him you're on his side
Why this is important
A teenager needs to feel your support.
What to do
Talk about how important it is. For example: “I don't fully understand how you feel, but I'm always there if you want to talk.”
Do you want your teenager to spend time at the computer usefully? Write it down to free trial lesson at Progkids!
