Entering adolescence is a difficult period for both the child and his parents. Hormonal storms, self-search, rebellious spirit, increased vulnerability and the desire for independence make communication with a teenager a delicate process. A careless word, thrown in the heat of the moment or said without malicious intent, can cause a deep wound, undermine trust and worsen relationships for years to come. Understanding the vulnerability of the adolescent psyche and consciously choosing words is the key to healthy and harmonious communication. In this article, we'll show you which phrases should be excluded from your vocabulary and why.
And if your child loves computers, we're looking forward to seeing him at Progkids!
Derogatory comparisons
But I'm your age...
Look at Masha, she's smart
Why it shouldn't be like this
The teenager feels incompetent and unloved. Comparisons undermine his self-confidence and provoke envy and resentment.
An alternative
Instead of making comparisons, focus on your child's strengths and celebrate their personal achievements.
Devaluation of feelings
Don't make it up
What nonsense
Stop whining
Why it shouldn't be like this
The teenager feels that his feelings do not matter, and he is not understood or accepted. This can lead to isolation and alienation.
An alternative
Acknowledge your child's feelings, even if they seem far-fetched and exaggerated.
I can see that you're sad/hurting/scared.
Tell me what happened.
Appearance criticism
You need to lose weight
What kind of hairstyle?
Wear something decent.
Why it shouldn't be like this
In adolescence, appearance matters a lot. Criticism of clothes, hair, figure, etc. can cause a teenager to have complexes, low self-esteem, and even eating disorders.
An alternative
Emphasize the beauty and individuality of the child, focus on his inner qualities.
Controlling and domineering phrases
As long as you're living in my house, you're going to do what I tell you to do!
I know better!
Why it shouldn't be like this
The teenager strives for independence and autonomy. Controlling phrases make it impossible for him to make his own decisions and develop independence.
An alternative
Give your child more freedom of choice and responsibility, listen to his opinion and discuss important decisions together.
Threats and manipulations
If you don't... then...
After all I've done for you...
Why it shouldn't be like this
Threats and manipulations undermine trust and cause guilt and resentment. This is an inefficient way to achieve what you want.
An alternative
Be open and honest about your feelings and needs, seek compromises, and collaborate with your child.
Insults and humiliations
You're nobody!
You're never going to get anything done!
Why it shouldn't be like this
Insults and humiliations cause deep psychological trauma and undermine self-esteem. They are unacceptable at any age, but are especially dangerous for teenagers.
An alternative
In any situation, try to stay calm and speak respectfully, even when you're upset or angry.
Communicating with a teenager is an art that requires patience, understanding and respect. By avoiding traumatic phrases and replacing them with encouraging words, you can build trust, strengthen the bond with your child and help him get through this difficult period safely. Remember that words are so powerful, and what we say to our children will determine their future.
Do you want your child to get a job that is in demand? Make a contribution to his career right now! Sign up for free trial lesson at Progkids!
