Adolescence is a time of intense emotions and dreams. During this period, young men and women often tend to idealize — endowing people, relationships, or phenomena with unrealistic, exaggerated positive qualities. Idealization can be aimed at idols, celebrities, first loves, friends, or even yourself. While some degree of idealization is a normal part of adolescent development, it can still have a negative effect. In this article, we'll show you how to help your child see the world as it is, while remaining optimistic and purposeful.
And if your child loves IT, we look forward to seeing him in class at Progkids!
Why teenagers idealize the world
Adolescent idealization is a cognitive process in which a teenager attributes only positive qualities to people, relationships, or phenomena without noticing or ignoring their shortcomings. This is often the reason for this:
Identity search
In the process of finding himself, a teenager seeks to find role models that he can imitate.
The need for love and acceptance
Idealizing loved ones can be a way to deal with insecurities and the fear of rejection.
The desire to escape from reality
Idealization is often a way to get away from the problems and difficulties of real life and create the illusion of an ideal world.
Lack of experience
A teenager still has very little life experience and is unable to assess people and situations realistically.
Hormonal changes
Hormonal changes during adolescence can increase emotional outbursts and a tendency to idealize.
How teenage idealization manifests itself
Teenage idealization can manifest itself as follows:
The idealization of idols and celebrities
A teenager blindly loves his idol, not noticing his shortcomings and considering him perfect in everything.
The idealization of first love
The teenager idealizes his “soul mate” and does not see problems in their relationship.
Idealizing friendship
A teenager considers his friends to be the best and most loyal, not noticing their shortcomings and avoiding the possibility of betrayal.
Idealization of the profession
A teenager dreams of a profession without knowing the real difficulties and challenges associated with it.
Idealizing the future
The teenager presents his future in a rose-colored light, without taking into account possible difficulties and obstacles.
The consequences of teenage idealization
Excessive idealization can lead to negative consequences. Among them are:
Disappointment
When reality does not correspond to idealized ideas, a teenager experiences great disappointment and pain.
Unfulfilled expectations
A teenager expects too much from people, relationships, and life in general, which leads to constant dissatisfaction.
Relationship difficulties
A teenager doesn't learn to build healthy relationships because he doesn't see people as they are, but idealizes them.
Addiction
A teenager may become addicted to a person or phenomenon that he idealizes.
Losing yourself
A teenager loses his identity when trying to live up to an idealized image.
Anxiety
Disappointment and unrealistic expectations can lead to constant anxiety and even depression.
How to help your teenager cope with idealization: 10 tips for parents
Acknowledge and accept the child's feelings
Don't devalue his feelings. Avoid evaluative adjectives like “naive”. Let your teen know that you understand their concerns and are ready to support them.
Help him understand that idealization is a normal process
Explain that in adolescence, many people tend to be idealized. Tell us about your own youth.
Invite him to look at the situation from different perspectives
Ask your child questions that will help him critically assess the situation and see the other sides of the coin. Invite him to talk to others who have similar or very different experiences.
Help your child develop critical thinking
Teach him to analyze information by distinguishing facts from opinions. Talk to him about news and events to help him form his own point of view.
Maintain his self-esteem
Highlight his strengths and talents. Help him believe in himself and his abilities.
Teach him to build healthy relationships
Teach your child to respect others' boundaries and set their own. Encourage him to express his feelings and needs openly. Help him resolve conflicts peacefully.
Invite him to meet different people and cultures
Travel with your child. Invite him to read books or watch videos about different countries and peoples. Visit museums and exhibitions.
Support his interests and hobbies
Help your child develop talents and find new hobbies. Be there when your child is disappointed. Let him know that you support him and are ready to help him cope with the pain. Don't devalue his feelings and don't say that “everything will be over soon”.
Seek professional help if needed
If idealization greatly affects a teenager's life and causes him serious emotional problems, seek help from a psychologist.
Teenage idealization — This is a normal stage of development that helps a teenager form an identity and learn how to build relationships with the world.
Do you want your child to learn to think critically and take the first steps in their future career? Write it down to free trial lesson at Progkids!
